Sunday, September 27, 2009

Last words,in a heart shaped box.I quote Nirvana for the 'heart shaped box'.=)

I'm sorry.If I am acting like a jerk now.To everyone in general.I just can't help it.All those sleepless nights.All this while I just didn't realise.I have to express myself.It just makes me feel better for now.Sigh.

I guess I just proved it.I'm the biggest arse alive.Can't believe I messed myself up after all this while.I was lost.Lost at the thought that you would be there for me.So afraid I would hurt you while I was hurting everyone around me just to not hurt you.It seems I can't hurt you at all even if I wanted to.Now I see :)

I'm so sorry for those I did hurt.I didn't realise I was so selfish.Too caught up at the thought that I could be there all this while for you.Just for you.I gave up a lot of things just for you.I doubt they even matter.It just came down upon me that I would be breaking down again.Like all this while,just to make sure you were happy.The number of times I told myself.As long as you're happy i'm happy.Everytime I said that it was like a shield.It kept me from just breaking down.Then I realised.To keep you happy was never the problem.You just don't realise.You never did.All this time it hurt but I could keep going on because I knew you were happy.I kept telling myself you would be there when i'm down.When I cry.But I end up facing my pain late at night.Staring at the ceiling.Reassuring myself.Hoping tomorrow would be a better day.Smiling all the time on the outside while I knew I was lying to myself.Somehow I got numb along the way.I know i'm being self centered now but yeah.

Thanks to a couple of my really good friends i've decided to move on :)
So long goodbye.Life's hard but that's WHY we're living it.Best of luck to you.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

12.09.09[Tham Vivian's Birthday =PP]

Woke up blur blur in the morning.It's HER Birthday.Quickly wished her.She was still sleeping until about eight or nine.What a piggie.Anyway,I had breakfast then helped dad around with some stuff.Flipped my book for a while then oh yeah.I remember that I had a double serving of beef noodles.That guy accidentally mixed up the orders so yeah it was awesome and I was super stuffed and feeling contented.Later was going out to celebrate with her friends.Limau and Puvi couldn't come out so I was going to be hanging with like all girls.*Slaps head,bangs head on the wall.Was effing nervous,she was too :) So I had a companion.Wheeheeheee.When we got back it was around like umm 10.Quickly bathed and got ready.Was getting more and more nervous by each passing second.After that went to Jusco.Was going to meet her to buy the tickects first.I arrived before her and waited at the cinema area.She was so cuteeee :D I saw her and we got the Gamer tickets for everyone.*Pssst,it's 18 above yet the woman at the cashier sold it to us.We went to the food court cause she haven't had her lunch.Watched her decide what to eat.Heehee.Finally decided to eat that Hainanese Chicken Rice.Hmmm.Sat at the closest table.I gave excuses not to sit at the big table cause we were like only two people for now. =P The way she ate the cucumbers made me want to giggle.Aik.*Wo Bu Gay.She told that Shuuba,Juen Lin,Shin Wei and Steph was coming.I was like so relieved.I was so nervous that I would like mess up and ruin her special day.Shuuba turned up first.*You are nearly as tall as me with heels =PPP Maybe I should get some too.After that Juenlin arrived shortly.She's tall.Ahahaha.But i'm taller.Forgive me for obssesing on this :( Juenlin and Shuuba were like"Let's play NFS on Viv's phone."I was laughing to myself.Woah,chicks love NFS?Not bad.Mmmmhmmm.Viv just finished eating.Very full :) Juen Lin ajak to go eat cake at Secret recipe.We walked there and in the end ended up going into that accessories plus wigs plus god knows what shop just opposite MPH.I was like X) then they started trying scarfs and stuff and the wigs are 5 bucks per try.Imagine sticking weird colored Fake hair on your head and paying 5 bucks for that?All kinds of weird crap.Then Viv started comparing fists.Heehee.Her fist is so small,like a little baby's.Shuuba's too.Ahaha.Then they went to the Lingerie shop beside it and so I was just hanging round outside.I mean I don't mind going in there but oh well.You get my point rightt?After they start asking me to try anything on.LOL.Scary scary.The thought of me with lingerie on.*NO WAY.The movie was set for like 12.45 so we headed there.Took some photos at the scary chinese show poster/billboard.It was the one with the two big,yellow,eerie looking eyes.They even tried fitting their hand into the shadow of one of those eyes.Funny la.Then I took the pictures.[Shuuba said they were bad cause I took blur pics.Hahahaa.I was scared of the eye okay?!:)]

Rewind rewind.Back to the food court.When Shuuba and Juen Lin arrived.They were talking then I heard something bout hamsters.It seems they gave her 4 hamsters for her birthday.Heehee.How cute.And the way they were talking i'm suprised they survived.A group of 4 hamsters in a girls school full of mad pinchy people.Ohmygosh.God bless those little furry guys.Heehee.And it seems that they wanted to fine Viv if they died.50 for the first week and 20 per consecutive week.WAH!Even the ah longs also charge less interest.LOL.You girls are seriously awesome.Hahah.And when I asked what sex they were.Viv was like,"Oh there's one guy and three girls.He's like living in heaven. X)"I can't agree more.Blek.Lucky dude.Anyway back to the cinema area.Bought popcorn and yup found our seats.Heehee.It wasn't really scary but yeah.

Gamer-It really gave me a glimpse of what the future could be for mankind.IF we were still existent in the future.With all the pollution and crap now I seriously think we won't last another few more centuries.I'm not being pessimistic,just accepting and digesting the facts.The truth HURTS.X)And yeah.It depicted the future of mankind in a sickening yet awesome and logical way.You know like those RPG(role-playing-games)FYI to those acronym noobies out there.The future would be like a super big touch-feel-experience stimuli version of that.We will all be like playing the Sims game but in super detail.REAL down to the flesh and blood.The media gives a garbled view about it.Most humans just treat it as a game but they don't realise it's actually happening in real life because they are all stuck up in that huge IT world till they lose their identities.You can change your appearance at will and your sex.Basically everything.So the man idea is play the game.Change appearance.Have sex,make out,disco,party 247 while you're actually stuck in a chair only and it's just going on in the super realistic game world.After that they showed one super fat fuck doing that.He was a *super hot chick* in the game world.And it was seriously sickening la.You must see for yourself then only you'll really understand what I mean.After the movie we were seriously cold,walked around and stuff.

Then suddenly I don't know who suggested that we watched another movie.I was like O.O are you serious?Then everyone was like yes/no/yes/don't know.So we decided to go watch only la since we still had so much time.We were all game to watch The Final Destination.Heehee.18 plus though like Gamer.SO what right?heeee.Then yeah.Wanted to buy the tickets.Went to the counter.I looked back.Shin Wei was like gone.Hiding.Hahaha.She damn worried after the cashier won't sell it to us.Hahaha.Funny la.So I went with Juen Lin,Shuuba and Steph and Viv.We asked for the tickets.Money all also keluar dee.Suddenly that woman at the cashier asked us to show our ID.I was like umm.*Looks at Juen Lin*Tak bawa la.She also same.Then money also was in hand.She kept on insisting and we also kept on insisting and she said if she printed it out,we would also get stopped and our cash would get wasted.I wasn't really bothered.the best part was she sold me and Viv the tickets earlier which was also 18 plus.What a Joker.I guess we look 18 :D:D Yay.So we decided to give up for now.But before that juen Lin was telling Shuuba to use the backup and most desperate measure.Begging like"Please la please la.I'm only 17.A few more months and we would be 18.And do the puppy dog face thing".I was laughing my arse off dee.Heeheee.Luckily she didn't do it.I would have just rolled on the ground and laugh but we would have gotten the tickets.Heehee.Later after that Viv left the ticket buying business to us and she said she wanted to go to the bathroom.Shin Wei followed her.

Tham Vivian's 16th Birthday Conspiracy
Main perpetrators are proudly presented to you by Ivan:
*Juen Lin
*Shuuba
*Steph
*Ivan(Take note that the font indicates the importance of the person in this b'day conspiracy) X]X]

*From this part,only me(Ooops,I play no part in this conspiracy okay?),Shuuba,Juen Lin and Steph are at the ticket counter area.Me and Steph retreated for a while and let Shuuba and Juen Lin pester another pitiable counter guy.Steph said"I think when we group together we look more like kids.Crowding around the place".I laughed.It's really very logical actually only kiddies will flock around a place like that.But it's cute to do so laaaa.Hahaha.Suddenly they called us to the counter.They were like persuading the guy to like sell us the tickets.They were like"it's our friend's birthday today la.Please please.*Note.When you say this don't la so pandai-pandai go and tell 16th birthday all.Luckily they didn't.Smart girls. =p*Somehow that guy was like good la.He gave a phone called and he was all smiles.He said okay and THEN we were all smiles too.Heehee.At least we get to watch TFD rather than Gforce or some tamil movie.Heehee.But Shin Wei and Viv didn't need to know the good news Yet.Heehee.Luckily that woman who was sitting next to him(the one that sold me and Viv the tickets but then didn't want to sell TFD ones to us* wasn't bothered.He was like"Okay la,keeps this between us okay?"I was like i love him.He's hot.He's cute.Mmmm.We were like yeah yeah sure bro sure.Hahaha.I mean why not right?Then we got the tickets just on time to see Viv and Shin Wei arriving at the 'crime' scene.X) All hush aite?Let this be our secret.Then suddenly another awesome thing happened.Shuuba was supposed to go for Bio,Mano's tuition but her mom called and said she could skip it.Hahaha.This is to prove that really awesome things happen on birthdays.Mmm.I'm a believer now and always.Wheeeheee.That time I was like high already.Things were going on track.Heee.Shuuba ran back to that guy to get another ticket.Luckily our row had place for her.Another good thing :) The birthday wife must sit with her husband *shuuba* right?It's only fitting.Then we went down to like hang till the movie starts.If i'm not mistaken it was supposed to start at like 3.45 and that time was only umm 2.30?We took another trip to the bathroom and I saw Falakh there.I'm always bumping into that guy la everytime I head to JJ.Is he stalking me?Lol.perasan la.Viv was complaining already.She's so adorable when she's pouting and stuff.She was saying"yer,one and a half hours of not knowing what people are talking."Then I convinced her it would be fun.Learn a new language right?Why not?we live in Malaysia.Multiracialness and that kinda stuff la.Heee.She still didn't know.This was going to be awesome.After that we went to that shoe shop just opposite the guitar and Digi shop.They tried so many shoes.Juen Lin was like"Ivn,you must have one too!"I really pening la.LOL.then they took some pics and made me take some dumb pics.Lol.it's on my Fb profile i think or on Steph's one.Not sure.We messed around in the shoe shop then went to MPH.Shin Wei bough some kiddie book.Not sure what was it.Something to do with BoyandGirl Relationships but writen through a 6 0r 7 year old kiddo's view.It was really cute.LOL.Then messed around there.Went over and saw all that pregnancy books and crap like that at that section la.Then we stumbled upon some 'beautiful' arabic names to give your children.And at the top of the list.ANUS.Yes,I am not joking or being sarcastic.ANUS.Sure i'll call my child Anus.And if i'm bored or mad at him/her,I'll just shout"Arsehole get here now.X)X)"Sigh people these days will really do anything.Hahaha.Then they took some pics there.The MPH attendant was looking very evil so we decided to get outta there.Heehee.We kena halau from MPH la.Sob.Then we saw all those restrictions HIDDEN behind a signboard outside MPH.Cannot take pictures la.But what's the point?Are books obscene?LOL.STUPID STUPID.ANUS.Later went to PDI and also got kicked out.Hahha.They tried on everything there.LOL.Then went to the accessories shop near PDI and messed with stuff there too.Played with the make-up.Hahha.They smothered it on each other.Damn funny la.The attendant gave us a what-the-fuck look.Hahha.SO WHAT.kita special.Then they were putting tiara on each others' heads.Hahha.And Viv also got one.The attendant called Steph but she didn't hear.Lol.Met Arief there also.Later we also kena halau from there.We all were talking la.So the plan for the day was to have fun and get halau-ed from all the shops in JJ.Steph said later we're gonna get kicked out from JJ itself.From that day onwards I Think that the people in JJ balcklisted us down as crazy people.Hahahha.I'm so proud*cries tears of happiness*HeeWheeee.Then it was time already la so we made our move to the movie.Blek.Found our seats,and Viv was still merajuk-ing about seeing the tamil movie.Heehee.Shuuba was whispering and kept wanting to tell me bout something.I think it was about the movie but at that time I was still blur la so Forgive me yeah Shuuba.Heehee.Suddenly my phone had a message.Steph sent me"Shhh,she does not now :)"Finally I realised.I also had forgotten about the tickets thing.Heehee.Then all the credits started rolling and Viv was like "What show is this?"Suddenly the race track,people started dying and the screen shone-[THE FINAL DESTINATION] Splat.The tyre chops off a woman's head.Heehee."SUPRISEE,HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!"They screamed.Hee.I was so happy for her.So many awesome friends.She looked at me and Pinched so hard.My hand still has the marks babe.X) A souvenir from 12.09.09 the MOST AWESOME DAY EVER where 16 years ago,God put someone that's so dear to me to this world and she's made me so happy all this while.I LOVE YOU :) And I was like,I don't know also.Heehee.She obviously didn't believe me I think?Blek.Watched the movie in happiness.When people died we were laughing.LMAO.It's funny la.People survive just to be hunted down by Death one by one.Mwuahahahahhaha.It's an awesome movie but the storyline has already been set since the first Final Destination so yeah.In the end the 3 lucky people who survived all that sickening,gruesome,eerie,out of this world disasters die too.And Viv was super happy cause she could watch the show.Blek.We got out and took some crazy random pictures at the photo booths.Okay this is about the longest post ever and my fingers are bleeding already.Nights people and happy belated birthday to Tham Vivian for the i-don't-know-how-many-times.hee.I'll never get sick of wishing you babe.Wheeee.You're sleeping now.Love you so much :) Good morning and nights my dear readers.You guys are the Bomb.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Snooker Study Outing :)

Woke up and ate umm some 'char siew pao' thing.After that studied awhile.Did Modern Math and English :P Later at around 12 was supposed to eat some noodles before heading to Nasmir to meet Joses,Mogana and Steven Lian.The noodle guy had no gas so he had to rush back to get some so I decided to just head straight there cause I was kinda late for it anyway.Reached Nasmir at 12.30.They were all there eating 'arte kodal',don't really know how to spell it.Goat's intestine.Had some and it was quite crunchy and soft.After that was supposed to wait for Vicky but he would be coming around 1 so we straight went to Infinity for snooker first.It was empty except for us and some other chinese guys.Played.That guy at the counter was stupid AND dumb.Didn't on the light for us at first and then when we asked him to shut off the annoying radio which was playing the 'natha' songs,he just didn't do it.First I went the Mogana but he still didn't do it.What an arse.Joses won that round and followed by Mogana and me.It was a bad break.Later Steven and Anil came to watch us.After that we went to Jusco around 2.Steven and Joses went back dee.Both heading to church so we walked there.So hot la.Reached and sat around at the food court for awhile.Anil treated us to some doraeyaki and drinks.Thanks Bro.An we coincidentally sat next to some extremely high girls.Don't know what they were so happy about.Constantly taking pictures.Waited for Vicky again.He Shut our calls.What a dick.Then we walked around and met Kavi's bro,forgot his name*he was wearing a marijuana shirt*.Then headed for snooker.We saw Vasanth,Nagen and Prasheet.Haha.Later theywanted to join us at Infinity but sadly no more tables so we walked to Ipoh Garden Snooker Centre,along Voodoo.It was empty and smelled of smoke.Hahha.We played.The cues and table was very nice,the only setback was the used up chalks.Played till 4.25 and the rest all went for Bio tuition.Only me and Mogana left.Saw Alex and ex-Andersonian's.Played till 5 where I Won :D:D After that headed back for bros' birthday party.Ate seafood pasta with squid and mussle and prawn and my dad's special seafood sauce and my mom's own seafood style cooking.After that headed for Bm tuition.Everything went wrong from there.Like a series of unfortunate events.Heee.It's just that everyone wasn't in a good mood and I was an ass as usual.Walked back home.Ate more pasta,drank and drank and drank.Cut the cake.Watched Hannah Montana:The Movie.Now i'm about to sleep.Very exhausted.Nights people.I hope tomorrow when I wake up everything will just be a dream.Sorry babe.I'm always here for you no matter what and i'll always be here to listen no matter what.I think it's a bad thing at times cause i'm so annoying :) But you'll have to put up with it so yeah.Mmmm.Sweet dreams.